Fat and Not Afraid

Respect and love are for EVERY body.

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Blog Carnival: I AM Mom! Enough!

May 27, 2012
 
Welcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.
This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote and peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!
In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied and every one is worth a read.

Hi there, welcome to Fat and Not Afraid! This blog usually focuses on things like fat acceptance and the health at every size philosophy but today I’m doing something different and participating in the “I am Mom! Enough!” blog carnival.

I wasn’t a mom who practised attachment parenting as many who are deeply into that parenting culture do; the reading I’d done indicated that yes, picking up and holding your child as much as possible was a Good Thing, and I knew that breastfeeding was recommended by the World Health Organization for at least a year, if not longer, but as a new mom with my first kid, I wasn’t confident enough in my parenting to follow through on that. Gabe and I's beginning together was rough-we were mostly separated for a few days after my c-section and I had a *very* hard time bonding with him because of that and the recovery from my surgery. Also, at the time I lived in Northern Ontario in a pretty conservative town and not many moms or dads wore their kids, breastfed in public, or continued with it at all past a certain small number of months. Picking up your child and holding them a lot was seen as ‘spoiling them’, letting infants 'cry it out' was normal so they'd learn to self soothe, and it’s hard to follow your instincts when you’re suffering from PPD and anxiety. (Trigger warning for that link for depression and suicide ideation) It’s much easier to just go along with what other parents are telling you because you think they know better; they’ve done this before you, right? Why shouldn’t they know better? Well, what’s easy isn’t always right and what ‘everybody knows’ isn’t always the best.

When I saw the controversial Times cover going around social media, my first reaction was as follows, copied and pasted from Facebook: I love, and by love I mean hate, that this implies if you DON'T choose to attachment parent, you're NOT 'mom enough'. Mom enough for what? And more importantly, isn't it time we stop judging other parent's choices? Whether it's yes or no to interventions during labour & delivery, breast vs. bottle, baby wearing vs. strollers, attachment vs. non, every family makes the choices that are best for them with the info they have. Also, attachment parenting isn't just for moms, dads can do it too. Way to put even *more* pressure on Moms as the primary caregivers, Time Magazine!


With Katherine on the way in August and living in a much more liberal part of the world, I’m ready to do *more* as an attachment parent, both to nourish myself and my baby; I’ll be off for a year so I’ll breastfeed for as long as I can instead of dropping it at 3-4 months, and hopefully there wont be another c-section spoiling the beginning of that. We wont be co-sleeping (Ryan is a very heavy sleeper so that’s a no-no), but I do have one sling already, with another on the way from friends at ThistleBuds Designs. I’m going to hold and snuggle my baby and not worry about ‘spoiling them’, and I may even get up the courage to breastfeed in public, not in a public bathroom. I know there’s more to attachment parenting than these few simple things, but it’s a start, and it’s what I’m comfortable with. I’ll do what works for my family, and other families can do what works for them. As Andy over at How to Be A Dad wrote so perfectly on all this: “You are mom enough. Because there’s a little person in the world who calls you Mom.” He’s right; I am Mom Enough, and Ryan’s Dad Enough, and we don’t want or need anyone else’s judgement or approval on how we do this incredible work of parenting.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media's portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like...all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it's not and that it's unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? Abbie at Farmer's Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless... Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom, I am. Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the "live and let live" philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares why 'extended' breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
  • I Am Dad Enough! Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama's family, Dionna's husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.

I'll be rooting for you as you venture out in public to nurse this little one. It gets easier! And my biggest advice would be to find some breastfeeding moms to bring with you - there is safety in numbers ;)

Comment Comment

You hit the nail on the head in this post…”we don’t want or need anyone’s approval.” We humans get so darn wrapped up in needing validation. If we would all just get over ourselves and live life then maybe we would be able to exist more peacefully. I mean, I personally don’t care how long anyone breastfeeds for. Feed your child. That is what is important. Yes, I am an advocate for all the benefits of breastfeeding but I am MORE of an advocate for a fed child. So yes, we need to get out of each other’s business and do the best that we can. And as you illustrate, you can always do it better the second time around!

Thanks for being a part of this Carnival!

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I'm actually really looking forward to the 'second time around'! On the bus the other day I realized that I was daydreaming about taking Katherine out places, like on the bus to the mall or up to the grocery store, in her sling, and it was a NICE thought, not a panic attack inducing horror. I really can't wait to start babywearing and I think having her sleep in our room (not our bed but close) will help MY peace of mind and help us both sleep better. :D m so glad I started reading your blog, Jennifer!

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