Fat and Not Afraid

Respect and love are for EVERY body.

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Diet Camoflage

July 12, 2010

I remembered what I wanted to write about after my heat-induced train of thought wreck last night; I realized the other day, while debating with a friend over whether or not to buy salad dressing for a salad that was never actually made, that it might appear to people who don't know me that I am dieting.  If 1/3 of the people in the U.S.A and/or Canada are dieting at any given time, and with me being a woman and a fat one at that, why shouldn't they think it?  When I'm at a restaurant, I don't ask for salad dressing and ask for milk instead of creamer for my coffee.  I usually skip dessert.  At buffets I tend to stick to eggs, vegetables and fruit, and fish.  When grocery shopping, we don't buy any cookies, candy or 'extras', not even for Gabe.  If someone looked in my cart they'd probably come to the conclusion that, yup, she's on a diet.

Well, they'd be wrong.  I tried dieting, like so so so many others here in the Fatosphere and in the rest of the world when I was younger.  I never lasted more than a day because I was SO HUNGRY.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner + snacks in between kept me going.  Cutting out the snacks and breakfast for SlimFast was a very bad idea, especially in highschool when I first noticed my blood sugar problems and depression & anxiety appear.  Salad dressing makes my salad soggy so I don't use it.  Full fat creamer (10%) messes with my digestive system like whoah.  Dessert is expensive and I can't afford it, same with 'extras' when grocery shopping.  I make my own cookies at home with Gabe and, before my bread maker died (SAD!) bread too.  I LOVE going to a monthly brunch buffet with friends and go for what I don't normally get at home; fish if it's available and lots of it, omlettes, fresh fruits of the more exotic variety (melons and grapes) and waffles.  At home the waffles are for Gabe and Ryan because the syrup gives me such a high then crash.

Am I on a diet?  No.  I'm not deliberately restricting calories in order to lose weight or maintain the weight I have.  Do I have a diet?  Yes, and it's based of what I know about how my body works and what I like.  If only it was this way for everyone.

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