Fat and Not Afraid

Respect and love are for EVERY body.

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My diet or Why I don't enjoy chocolate anymore

February 6, 2010

Ry and I are starting to see a pattern; dark chocolate gives me migraines.  This is a very sad day for me as I LOVE chocolate.  Every year for Christmas, Santa remembers to bring me  a box of dark chocolate Pot of Golds.  Chocolate covered raisins are my favorite treat at the movies.  When Ry wants to do something nice/special while he's out and about, sometimes he picks up something spiffy like Lindt orange or chili chocolate bar.  A couple of chocolate chip cookies wont do it, but a handful of chocolate chips will.  For example, last night while finishing up season one of Wolverine and the X-Men we borrowed from a friend, we poured out a small bowl of the chips and enjoyed.  About an hour, maybe an hour and a half later while trying to study for my midterm, my left temple started to throb and after a short time it felt like my left eye was going to pop out of its' socket.  Time for bed, much to both our disappointment.  This type of headache seems to attack specifically after having chocolate. 

The other foods I'm no longer eating include milk products; I can have a little bit of solid cheese or cream cheese on a bagel, but that's it.  Milk and yoghurt cause some fairly decent lower bowel distress, every time.  Even icecream is out, unless it's a spoonful or so in the smallest bowls we own.  This sucks because I REALLY love icecream too.  And sometimes I really want a nice cold glass of milk but know it'll bite me in the ass if I give in.  It might be time to give soy milk a try again, even though I hate the taste of it.  I need to take care of my bones, especially after several years on depo which causes bone loss.  A friend suggested I get my blood pressure checked but that's always been fine, even when I was pregnant with Gabe. 

Heidi over at http://littleowl.com/heidi/2010/02/05/intuitive-eating-vs-calorie-restriction-or-dieting/has a great post up right now about intuitive eating vs. calorie restriction.  I left a slightly rambly comment over there about bacon last night before going to bed that I should probably expand on in this context.  Since finding the FA and HAES blogs and movement two years ago, this idea of intuitive eating has been one I've been trying to incorporate into my life as much as possible.  Eating what my body asks for, in the amounts it asks for, has been something I've struggled with.  When I was a kid, my parents would make me sit at the table until I was done.  There are pictures of me and/or my sister, asleep at the table, with full bowls of something we didn't like infront of us.  I think it's chili.  I can still remember the pickrel chowder incident when I was a little older; we were at the table for a looong time on that one too, giggling over this god-awful smelling bowl of fish.  We were eventually let down, but it made an impression on me.  For a long time, I would I finish my plate, even if I was already full, but I *always* leave a bite on it.  This shows I'm not a big pig, that I didn't eat it all, even if I ate more than I wanted.  I've learned to ignore the full feeling but now I'm unlearning that.  I eat less and listen more to what my body says, and like Heidi, it's working out pretty well because my body's getting what it wants in the amounts it needs.  If I want bacon every day with breakfast, I have bacon.

I'll have to finish/edit this later, my sister is coming to get me so I can pick up some groceries.  If anyone has a no fail cheese cake recipie, please leave it in the comments or email it to me!  Thank you.

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