Fat and Not Afraid

Respect and love are for EVERY body.

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Obligatory introductory post

August 6, 2009

Roughly a year and a half ago I stumbled upon the Fatosphere from a friend's blog and have been an avid reader since.  The possibility of self acceptance was a gift after a lifetime of subtle and not-so-subtle comments about my weight, and at the time I found the Fatosphere my body and I were not on the best of terms.  Desperately I turned to the fat acceptance movement for some hint that it was ok to love my self, love my body, even though I hated it at that time.  From Kate Harding at Shapely Prose came the realization much of my life was lived withinthe fantasy of being thin (http://kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin).  Page after page of information from blogs and articles and news reports, studies by scientists and dieticians and others, all came together with the message "You can be fat and healthy.  You are fine the way you are.  You don't owe anyone anything when it comes to how you look.  Your body is yours to take care of, or not, as you wish."  It was empowering.  It was a revelation in the truest sense.  It has changed my life, it has changed ME and I have absolutely no desire to go back to my former self, though she still lurks within my mind.  I have bad days were I wonder how much I weigh and get anxious about the possibility of being over a certain number.  When buying pants or shirts I bemoan the inability to find things in my size in regular stores and not have to go into the plus-size racks in the stores that actually have those racks.  You'd think XL shirts would be easy to find, or pants in 12-14, seeing as how that's what the average woman wears, but they're never on the rack when I go shopping.

In any case, here I am, writing about my fat acceptance journey, my imperfect attempts at intuitive eating and health at every size, my fight to not be a 'bad' fattie who doesn't move enough or eats the 'wrong' foods, and my thoughts and opinions on all of the above and more.  Next post; feminism, fat and self-acceptance.

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