Fat and Not Afraid

Respect and love are for EVERY body.

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Offended by fat

March 16, 2010

From Harriet Brown's excellent NY Times article comes this blog post by NAAFA:  "Offensively Fat: The Truth Behind Weight Stigma".

I love this part especially because it really speaks Truth: At the root of it lies the bigotry of disgust. Gays and lesbians face it - those who hate them are often hung up on their personal disgust with their sex lives (never mind that straight sex can be viewed in the same way). Fat people face it - those who hate them are often hung up on their disgust for their bodies (never mind that nobody's body is perfect).  I've had that conversation with people I wont name, people who are disgusted by gay sex and wish queer people would just stop having pride parades because it 'shoves their sexuality in other people's faces'.  I wonder, should we maybe have Fat Pride parades?  Being fat and being visible (and happy/confident) is a statement.  You are fat and you're not afraid of who might see you, what they might think, say or do.  Going to your doctor and refusing to get weighed if you don't need to be is a statement; it means you wont be bullied, that you wont put up with their disgust and assumptions.  Being out with friends and ordering whatever the hell you like at a restaurant and refusing to particpate in the 'good food/bad food-bad girl' talk is a statement; like I told a favorite aunt, I have more important things to worry about in my life than a number on the scale.  I don't care, and it doesn't matter.

Also, I do not give a good gorram if you're offended by something I do/say/wear/whatever.  You don't have the right not to be offended, to be protected from offense.  The world is a big scary place full of people who are going to argue and disagree with you, and people who are going to offend and disgust you.  Suck it up, buttercup, because the world isn't going to change for you.  Noone should ever feel they have to change who they are or pretend to be something they're not in order to be loved or accepted.  People need to examine their own prejudices and feelings and realize they're standing in their own way, not the other person.  If I've offended you, sorry, don't care. 

Now, if something I do/say actually HURTS another person, then I care.  I never intentionally disrespect someone and I never intentionally cause harm.  That's not my way; it's antithetical to me and my being.  If I've disrespected someone or hurt them, I hope they let me know so I can apologize right away and try to fix it.  A while back I wrote a post about not wanting to get any fatter; it's hard on me financially to buy new clothes and my self-acceptance isn't 100% rock solid.  Someone wrote in, I think it was Silentbeep? saying that my comment really hurt them because they were fatter than me and it made them feel like crap.  We worked it out; I apologized because that wasn't my intent at ALL, and it was all good after a bit more discussion.  (It's hard to gauge intent on the net, which is partially why I'm so plain-spoken.  Generally, you can't take what I write any other way than how I've written it.  Everything can be taken at face value.)

Anyway, my point is: I don't care if person X finds fat people disgusting and is offended by their being around.  We're not put on this earth to please each other in every way.  I DO care if that disgusted and offended person tries to attack a fat person, oh yes I do, whether through legislation, stupid 'health action' plans like Michelle Obama's, taunts on the playground or snide remarks in the office.  Noone deserves that.  Live and let live, people.

Ok, now I'm really rambling.  I have a paper to write and I don't think I ate enough supper so the blood sugar is low and the concentration is right there with it.  Oi.  Sandwich time! 

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