Fat and Not Afraid

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Safe and Sound: Your son is missing

September 18, 2011

Last week was a very busy week here; Gabe started school again, I was into my 3rd week of work at FedEx and feeling the pressure and as usual Ryan was working till 8 every night. Wednesday was especially trying for reasons you're about to read. This is taken from my blackberry, written Thursday am on the bus to work.

The last 24 hours have been very up and down-started work yesterday morning with a chat with my boss about my work performance and making sure I'm aware of how I fit with the company.  He wasn't mad, just trying to help me focus and get my work done in the time I have. The rest of the day went well until about 3pm when I got a call from Gabe's school. They'd lost him.  He was missing. They didn't know where he was.

It's hard to describe how I felt as the daycare person or his teacher was explaining what they thought  happened (I can't remember who I was actually speaking with).  He had been on the wall with the other kids waiting to into the daycare and the caretake stepped away. Then he was gone.  She thought he'd gone inside to play but when she looked he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere in the school, so they called Kevin, our roomate, to see if he'd come and picked him up. He hadn't. Then they called me at work.

A part of me died yesterday. That's the only way I can describe it. They found Gabe not long after, trudging home across the soccer field in the rain, but I'm still rattled. He's safe and sound but I'm not, not sound, anyway.

Now I know why they say that; safe and sound. You can be safe but not sound, sound but not safe. Sound refers to mental and emotional health in a way I'd never thought of before. We JUST had a little boy kidnapped here in BC two weeks ago; he turned up safe and sound after being returned by the family friend who had taken him. He was fine, no worse for wear physically, but there's no telling what kind of mental or emotional trauma he might've had. In my mind, though Gabe is safe and sound, I'm not quite there yet.

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