Fat and Not Afraid

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Serenity Now

May 12, 2012

The last two weeks around the house have been amazingly stressful. A wonderful house to move into fell through, our landlord is being, in our opinions, unreasonable, our property manager is uncommunicative and frankly we just don't want to move out of our place. But we can't afford it and thanks to the unreasonableness of our the landlord, renting out the bottom portion has been impossible. We're looking at moving from our house, with 3 bedrooms (one's a study now for Ryan), huge kitchen and dining room, livingroom and full basement with playroom for Gabe, to a tiny two bedroom apartment up the street, at least for the year while I'm off on maternity leave.

In Canada we get a lot of time off (it varies from province to province, but in BC I get 37 weeks mat. leave plus 17 weeks pregnancy leave, if I want it) at half my income. This is provided by the government and there's nothing my employer can say about it; they have to hold my job for me and can't do anything while I'm gone that would jeapordize my position. The problem is being at half income for a year-right now I only work 25 hours a week and we can't afford where we're at since our roomie went to Alberta. When I'm off we'll be in deep trouble, hence the move. Thanks to all this Ry and I, and even Gabe, have been frustrated and stressed and miserable. Gabe's been acting out at school all week, I was feeling like crying most of the time, and Ry's in funk.

Yesterday though, something changed. We'd give ourselves this past week to try and find some way to rent out the basement and there had been no such luck. We said we'd talk to the apartment building last night and get them a deposit. I had spent the last two weeks going through what we usually identify as the grieving process; denial, anger, bargaining and yesterday was acceptance. I've always been slow and reluctant to accept change (it took me nearly a year to get comfy with the idea of moving from Sault Ste. Marie to Nanaimo!) but yesterday I just accepted it; we were going to move into an apartment slightly smaller than our first house, but hey, it would be alright. It wasn't the end of the world.

After work I headed to my prenatal yoga class and spent an hour working on serenity-no matter what happens we'll be together, the baby is looking great, and we'll get through it. The coming year is basically a write-off but it's just one year. We've had bad years before, and nothing we do can change the march of days and weeks. This too shall pass.

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