Fat and Not Afraid

Respect and love are for EVERY body.

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Today Is A Birthday

September 28, 2011

Today is Gabe's 5th birthday. It's been a big year for him; first year of school, first bike, first fireworks he'll remember and first fishing trip. He saw his first black bear and wrote his name this past year. We packed him up and moved him half way across Canada, over 3000km from most of his family and friends, and he was golden for it. It's been a year of learning boundaries and self-expression, getting his shoes on the right feet and his plate in the dishwasher, of doing so many things All By Himself. He's getting so tall that that his head squishes my breasts when we hug and so strong that those hugs are really *felt*. He has thoughts on things now and shares them with me, and asks me how my day was at work, if I had good dreams when I slept, to talk with him about things that are interesting, like big cats or the ocean.

Gabe came into this world 2 weeks early and with a c-section after nearly 24 hours of intense labour. He scored perfect on his APGARs and once we got home and settled, he slept like a champ. It's hard to put those two mental images together side by side in my head; a wee little arm-sized bundle dozing in a hospital blanket compared to the always moving, always chatting big boy I have now. The first few weeks of his life, hell, the first couple of months, are a haze to me as I was recovering from surgery and was aflicted with post partum depression. I remember some moments very clearly, like how he slept right through his baby shower at 4 weeks old, and his first smile while mom rocked him in the chair in the livingroom. I remember being completely in love with his nose, his little sniffy nose, and how frustrating and unhappy we all were when he got colic at night. He grew up so fast, and he's not done yet.

Dear Gabe,

  I wish you a year filled with new friends and experiences, a love of the rain, and the knowledge that you are loved, completely and ridiculously, by me, your dad, and Kevin. I wish you self-confidence, to know when to hold your own and when to bargain, when to say "lLave me alone" or "I need a hug". We will always try to respect what you say and ask, and will keep teaching you to do the same. I wish you sunny and salt-sprayed afternoons, sleepy Saturday mornings, cereal and cartoons, hot chocolate and puddles. I wish you joy, peace and above all, happiness.

Love,

Mom

 

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