Fat and Not Afraid

Respect and love are for EVERY body.

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Word of the Day: No

January 16, 2013

In my multiple hours of browsing around online, from Facebook to various webcomics, email, news sites, blogs and more, I come across a lot of different variations on 'yes'-say YES to success, to moving forward, to creating goals and making plans, to saying goodbye to the past, to forgiveness, to saving (the rainforests, oceans, activists, etc), to donating (time, money, a click, a FB 'like', a tweet, etc). I say yes as often as I can. I say yes a lot more than I used too. Saying yes is helping and being helpful, both to myself and others, is awesome. My activism, both online and off (though there's less of that now sadly), and my service to my Circle, is the rent I pay for living on this planet, or so the saying goes.

Today however, I want to say no to a bunch of things, specifically the Shoulds. You should lose pounds/inches, be quieter, be nice(r), stop taking up so much room, not wear that, not eat that, suck it in, suck it up, smile, fit in, get over it.


No, I will not. No to all of that. A deep inner voice wants to climb to the top of the closest mountain, and out here I have my pick, and scream NO at the top of my lungs. NO. Never. Not now, not ever. I'm me, and I like who I am. It's taken a long time to get here and I'm proud of me. I hope you're proud of you, and like who you are. I hope you'll join me in saying NO to the above, and other toxic things in your life. NO.


I'm about to reveal something very personal. The outcome of me saying yes instead of no and actually believing that it would make me a better person has been debilitating. Due to being the I can girl, I now can't. I am currently getting counselling to learn to say no, twice a week in fact. This is a brilliant article and so important, you see most of your readership is your age, and most of my contemporaries still say yes and try to do too much. In all honesty, saying yes to what was expected and lying about my true feelings has caused me self doubt and a certain inner loathing, that because I could not maintain those yes' that I am somehow a huge failure. I'm doing better now, however, I still have days that are horrible and it's a lot of work not to cling to those, not to be bitter, and various other feelngs that crop up, including still wanting to be overly helpful and say yes. All in all, it's made me somewhat reclusive and un-trusting, because if you can't trust yourself, how can you trust anyone else. Say no, it's good for you. :D Thanks so much. :D


Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Keep up the good job in posting very good topics.



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