This post may be triggering to some readers as I talk about doing what some consider exercise.
Tonight I threw in my hubby's Power Yoga dvd and did a 20 minute set of standing poses. I've loved yoga as a form of movement, meditation and checking in with my body since highschool so it feels natural to me to begin again here. I like standing poses because I know I have strong legs and the poses will improve my balance. (My balance is terrible. I can fall off the side of an even sidewalk without trying.) Standing poses include the mountain pose, triangle and half triangle poses, all three variants of the warrior pose, forward bends, and the half-moon pose. I'd done all of these before (except the half moon) but not for many years. I didn't realize HOW many until tonight; the last time I did any yoga was before Gabe was walking. That's four years ago, when he'd go down for a nap at about 10 am and sleep for two hours and I'd finally get breakfast, yoga and a shower. I was 20-30lbs lighter then, especially in the boobs.
Well tonight had a few surprises for me, the first of which was my boobs NOT getting in the way of any poses. Yay! My legs are strong and my balance isn't as bad as I was afraid of, but it's not great. It felt GOOD to stretch my arms and legs, especially since my back or hips never once complained about what I was doing (though they might tomorrow!)
Next time I'll have to use blocks because in some poses I can't reach the ground with my hands for support (not sure if I'm just short or because I'm not flexible enough yet), and in those poses my sides are getting in my way. There's too much of me there when I bend to comfortably do the pose. Where she's leaning over her leg, it pinches, and my fingers can barely touch the floor. Forget about looking straight up at my hand over my head either!
But that's all ok. I knew that tonight was just going to be seeing where I'm at, and I'm not depressed or disappointed by what I can do. I can do all of it, just not to the fullest extensions, and for ANYONE that takes time. Mr. Yee has been doing yoga for many many years and he makes it look as natural as breathing. For him, it IS. For me, it isn't. That's ok, I'm not him. The most pleasant moment came, however, near the end, with the half moon pose. This one took me by surprise and I laughed out loud a little. "You want ME to do THAT?" I thought, watching him effortlessly lift himself up on one leg and one hand. I hestitated, then gave it my best. It was not pretty but I did it. I didn't fall over, again I'm short (need blocks!), and didn't extend fully but I DID do it. It's a start.