Fat and Not Afraid

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On the Bucket List: Victoria Goddess Run

February 20, 2013

We've all heard of The Bucket List; that laundry list of things we want to do, see, experience, or otherwise live before we kick the bucket. I've never actually sat down and made one but there are a few things I know are on it:

  • Take the train(s) around the UK and continental Europe and stay in hostels along the way
  • Go on vacation somewhere warm, sunny and sandy and have cute waiters/waitresses bring me fruity alcoholic beverages
  • Write my book
  • Get paid for blogging
  • Run a marathon

What the hell is up with that last one? It's connected with my deep desire to see how strong this body is. For me, strength is deeply connected to my self-worth. This realization has been dawning on me since Kat's birth and probably started long before with my struggles during and after Gabe's birth-when I feel weak, physically, I feel worthless. My physical body is strongly tied to my mental health, which is not a surprise to anyone who believes in the mind/body/heart connection, but for me it goes deeper than that. When I'm run down physically, whether it's from lack of sleep, a cold, an injury, my mental health can take a fast dive.

Recently I discovered that there's a charity marathon happening in Victoria a few months after we move there (and oh my is that still an ongoing fiasco of 'what ifs'), that a couple of friends are doing it, and that it's called the Victoria GODDESS Run, I had the feeling "This is it! This is the opportunity I've been waiting for!" When I told Ryan about it he gave me a skeptical look and said "The only time you run is if you're late for the bus." and he's right. I've proudly claimed in the past that the only time I run is for the bus, or if I need to escape a hungry predator.

Running, or jogging, always seemed like such a pointless thing; what the hell are you running for? Getting up at five or six am to put on your shoes and go run the same loop(s) in the rain (a likely possibility out here for at least 7 months of the year) does NOT look like fun. It looked boring and futile. You're not *going* anywhere, so why? WHY, when I moved out here, did I see so many people out jogging everywhere?

Then again, this specific scene from What Women Want has always struck a nerve whenever I watch it:

Potentially training for this marathon will be my escape, something just for me. No stroller. No chatty kid. No husband or even friends. Just me and the road and my thoughts. Even if we don't end up moving to Victoria and I don't get to participate I'll still have this me-time whenever and however I can carve it out of my day. It's desperately needed.

What's on your bucket list? What isn't anymore because you've crossed it off? What was on the list but is now gone because it's not a priority any more? Finally, any runners out there have any tips for a complete and total nOOb?

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