Fat and Not Afraid

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Google Alert! Shields At Maximum

September 8, 2016

Back at the beginning of July I set up a series of Google alerts to do a bit of an experiment; if I was actually looking for it, how much bad news could I get in a month? I set the search criteria as follows on July 9th, with the results:

  • Approximately 90 total alerts, 3 per day for each category of woman murdered, indigenous killed and child killed.
  • Each alert contains anywhere from 1 to 12 or more stories depending on the day.
  • As of today, September 7th, I have nearly 300 unread alerts.

If I was looking for shit to get mad about, it wouldn't take a lot of effort. Stories from around the globe abound of women that are murdered by their partners or family members, indigenous people die or go missing and the blatant racism that follows (or directly contributed to their deaths) doesn't surprise me, but does sicken me, and kids die in droves through accident and abuse. IF I was looking for things to get mad about, y'know, as a feminist or a Social Justice Warrior, or a femdamentalist, I could easily Hulk out every day.

But I don't go looking. I ignored all the alerts until tonight's writing; shields to maximum I waded into the fray and thankfully I didn't feel most of it scrape against me too hard. My broken edges sting sometimes. Tears often spring into my eyes in the early morning when something particularly sad comes into my feeds. It's too easy to find things to be mad about because there are so many of them. I could literally spend the rest of my life doing literally nothing but write about the feeds I've set up, analyzing the crimes, showing people the patterns, yelling from the rooftops CAN YOU SEE IT NOW?

But I don't. I can't. A person can't live like that. I'd quickly burn out, and ignoring my family like that wouldn't be a good idea either. They deserve a wife and mom who's present, who can laugh and joke around, who has energy for them, too. These days I blog and tweet less as I have less energy for things outside my immediate sphere; family and work come first, but when I get the chance I let my passion burn.

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